these are the collected dreams of the perishable
2002 2001 2000
2. we rob a bank and run with a white garbage
bag full of money. we go into an unfurnished apartment in ravenswood and i hide
everyone and the money in an empty bedroom and shut the door. the police come
in and i cant remember what i say but they leave without looking in the bedroom
and say that they are coming back soon. i go into the bedroom and everyone is
rolling around in the money and ther are about a dozen mexican kids singing
and laughing. there are streamers and confetti and we are all bathing in cash
and laughing. i leave the bedroom to check on the cops and poke my head outside.
i'm in addison and there's a war going on. i dodge cannonfire and bombs and
bullets and jump on a honda 3-wheeled all terrain vehicle and swerve across
suburban lawns trying to find an open garage door and a gas can.
IL - Wednesday, December 15, 1999 at 14:19:37 (CST)
1. i see Candy in the wet scrubby woods near salt
creek and lake street. brown water and faint smell of car exhaust drying my
throat. drawn into her i pull up her sleeve and put my hand around her wrist
i think about her legs and her back and her skin and her scars and remember
how bad i loved her. i hold her close , she grabs my face and smiles, i bury
my face in her hair and breathe, she grabs my hand and we start walking. -we're
going home-, she says. we come to a suburban house and go upstairs into a bedroom
and there is a dark huge man in a wheelchair with a brace holding his head up
drooling covered in piss and shit with severe cerebral palsy, straining to say
anything, face twitching into a quick smile and rolling his teary eyes whacking
himself in the face everytime he tries to lift his arm. i'm standing in the
doorway staring trying not to breathe through my nose and not knowing what to
say. candy says -i'll be right back-. before i can ask a question she's gone.
everything in the room is brown plaid and off-white, crusty and wet. he is struggling
to look at me. i'm trying to read his expressions but they come and go in constant
flailing waves; embarassed to angry to smile to sad and broken ,intelligent
cynical to dumb vegitation. i feel like he has a working functioning brain and
is aware of everything. i untie his shoes and pull off his wet pants and shorts.
i unbutton his shirt and walk down the hall into the bathroom and fill the tub
with warm water. wheel him into the bathroom. he's grunting and i'm already
feeling his weight as i'm pushing the chair. he's at least twice my size .i
see his scalp through his greasy black hair and see the sweat on the back of
his neck and sloping shoulders dripping down the back of the wheelchair. the
tub is low, thank god, and built into the blue and white tile. i pull his feet
over the ledge and into the water and nudge the rest of him inch by inch to
the edge of the chair until a huge loping spasm like a sledgehammer wails upon
him and throws him with his bones knocking and flesh slapping against the cold
bathroom floor . low moans, with his feet still in the water. i lock my arms
under his and lift with my legs. up onto the ledge and push him over into the
water. his head cracking against the tile wall .splashing with his hands he
seems to be getting bigger every minute and i'm sweating and soaked. i take
a rag and start to wash him. he groans and spits. i look into his face and i
know he wants to say something. i avoid his eyes and go back to my work. there's
a stirring downstairs and i go towards it. a middle aged couple walk in. the
man turns on a huge tv in the middle of the front room and the woman turns on
a tv in the kitchen. -are you candy's family?- i ask the man. -well no ..yes..-
he says. i go into the kitchen and the woman is nodding into the phone -hmm-.
i approach her slow like i dont want to scare her away -hi , i was waiting for
candy, is she coming back soon?- she looks at me and smiles and pours me a bowl
of cheerios and milk and puts it on the table. she puts her hand over the mouthpiece
of the phone and says -thank you-. and goes back to the phone nodding and humming.
i watch the cereal get soggy and say to her loudly -Are you candy's family,
when is she coming back cuz i really have to leave,,?- she says -we're her inlaws
go talk to bob upstairs.- . - Who's bob? - she ignore's me....-Who's bob?-i
repeat. -Bob's upstairs, our son bob...candy's husband bob, you know...go upstairs,
you need to watch him , it's his cereal time...thank's honey.-
IL - Wednesday, December 15, 1999 at 14:07:13 (CST)
It started one day when i was listening to Fleetwood
Mac's "The Dance." All of a sudden i realized that i needed a Rhiannon in my
life. Then i remembered that i did. Although her name is spelled Rheannon, it's
the same thing. So i went up to Rheannon and told her how much i liked her and
we lived happily ever after.
- Friday, December 10, 1999 at 09:36:05 (CST)
ok here's the deal. i was somewhere that i've never
been before. this happens to me all the time after i've been out of town for
a while. in a way it's creepy but in another way it's nice to not be constantly
dreaming about the inside of my house or some other familiar place. i was with
my uncle ben and my brother nick and keith. if you know who these people are
then you probably know me, so hi! anyway, we were eating some of my uncle ben's
delicious turkey soup and drinking bell's oberon ale which was strange because
i usually don't like bell's beer 'cause it's too dark. then keith and my brother
went to chinatown to see the clash play, but nick wouldn't let me come 'cause
i was too drunk, so ben and i called my aunt mary and begged her to come get
us. i didn't want to go home so i asked to be dropped off at jim's place where
i proceeded to run out into the middle of nowhere. i laid down in the middle
of a field and watched a sky full of stars spin like a gravitron above me. it
was beautiful, but also a frighening indication that i may have a serious drinking
problem. i've never dreamt that i was drunk before. it must be the corrupting
influence of the perishable label. just a few hours around you guys and i'm
already suffering from abnormal behavior...and that's what happened.
miss maria <email@example.com
MI us of a - Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 16:51:37 (CST)
I don't remeber all the specifics, but I must say
it was strange. The main reason it was strange is the characters that were in
the dream. Though I have never personaly met any of the Perishable folks I have
had a number of stories relayed to me by Scott Taylor. So anyway back to the
point. I was laying down to go to sleep last night, and sortly before that I
had had a Reiki session done on me so I was very relaxed. I put my copy of Bunny
Gets Paid on the turn table, picked up my book of short stories by Franz Kafka
and settled down for the night. Shortly thereafter I drifted off, and found
my self strolling along the mighty Mississippi River. It turns out that I was
a homeless child. I was not misserable, however, just without an abode. I sat
down by this tree that I visit from time to time after husling up enough change
to by myself a quart of beer. This is were it gets strange, Tim Loftus, Tim
Rutili and Ben Massarella come up to me and ask for a swill of my beer. Though
I've never seen these people in real life I know it was them because I was calling
them by their last names. I said sure and passed my quart around. That's it.
That's all I remember. I know it very anticlimatic, but I just found it odd
that several people I've never met found their way into my dream. I think Perishable
has some kind of mind control machine to transmit dreams into peoples heads
to help sell their records. Think about it, that's free advertising straight
into the synapsis.
TN USA - Wednesday, November 24, 1999 at 10:45:33 (CST)
in the forest the air is rich and pungent. smells
of cold moss and moist decay. mist coats the void . filling the spaces between
ferns and trees. my limbs are heavy with slow and tingling motion. i am crawling.
the earth gives slightly beneath my knees and fingers. a sponge releasing ice
to the warmth of my skin. the edge of a lake parts the mist before me. dark
reeds curve towards its glistening surface. i lay on the bank. stretching my
arm out. sinking the tips of my fingers beneath its surface. it pools in my
palm. heavy warmth. sliding over my fingers in jerky rapid motion. mercury.
i push off from the edge. a sharp sensation of falling wakes me up.
il - Saturday, November 13, 1999 at 16:03:31 (CST)
real-there was this guy in school that i hated
alot cause he wore lether vests and pulled his pants up real high and had a
pony tail, and when my friends dorm room cought fire he made fun of them, so
i hated him.DREAM i was in my bunk starting to sleep and not knowing that im
dreaming i look over to the other bunk where my roomate usually is. to my suprise
its the guy i hate looking right at me mean. so i jump out of bead to get a
closer look and sure enough it is him so i start screaming at him to leave and
choking him and i look over to the other bunk to see my other roomates reaction
and he is there also there are too of him! so i freak out screaming curses and
run to the light switch and after i turn it on i realize that i was just half
asleep and that i really did all this choking and screaming but to my roomates
who were at this point lying as still as they could with the covers over their
heads scared out of their minds not saying anything! so i gently flicked the
light swich off and tip toed into the other room and sat down. i thought that
they would be mad but now they just do what i say damit!
pa usa - Saturday, November 13, 1999 at 08:42:50 (CST)
so i dream about music a lot--"scores" especially.
not film scores, but i'll be in a thrift store pawing through records and there
will be a series of very rare who records that actually turn out to be an unreleased
set of acetates, something like that. infinitely boring stuff. but the other
night i dreamt about performing in front of a group of people dressed up like
halloween. i was dj'ing, but somehow i was able to will the different records
to mutate into each other, so that if i played two artists at once it would
be like they were making a new song together. i also dreamt that i was on a
stage with 6 or 7 old turntables; i hooked up a bunch of old sturdy school-type
record players together--the kind that have output jacks in 'em--and i kept
wanting them all to play at the same time, but it didn't work. then there was
a girl dressed like cat woman and we had sex. then she turned into a pig-woman,
like something out of the movie, "if," and i woke up wishing that was something
i'd never dreamt, and hoping the image would leave me very soon. it hasn't.
wa etail - Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 20:48:40 (CST)
anyone watched "big lebowski"?i saw the guy named"jesus"
in that movie.he was a kung fu fighter and me and my boss wanted to go to his
house and steal his very important condom collection.we open his castle's door
somehow and enter inside.we are sure he s away cos we sent him somewhere i cant
remember how and where.well..but we didnt know he had a dog.my boss was ready
for everything.he gave the dog some meat that made the dog sleep.we found the
condom collection so we were ready to leave...but than that jesus guy enters
to the castle and we accidently meet at the door.he s wearing all pink!he starts
doing some kungfu but my boss tells him to stop cos we have his wife in our
hands(!!?)so he has to make a desicion..his condoms or his wife...w big desicion
i reckon... that s all...the alarm clock woke me up..
uk - Tuesday, November 02, 1999 at 13:44:31 (CST)
I had some absinthe the other night and then dreamed
a lot when I went to bed. I dreamed I was with the ghost of my dad, who was
young. (my dad's not dead though). We were sitting on the porch of my Grandma's
house, which has been moved, since it's in a flood-plain. We were eating green
MN USA - Monday, November 01, 1999 at 13:57:38 (CST)
in my dream: i wake up -- it's early morning, and
i'm still in my weird 2rd floor apartment on 14th street over the taco place
run by these really sweet koreans -- and go to the bathroom to pee. it's day
light already but the bathroom's still pretty dark (no window). it's a great
piss, almost one for the record books. after i finish up, i go to the sink to
wash my hands and splash some water on my sleepy face. brushing my hair back
with my hands, i look up into the mirror, squinting... and notice over night
i seem to have grown a really sexy monobrow, even better than little eddie munster's.
"cool!" i say to myself. i wake up laughing.
ny usa - Monday, October 25, 1999 at 12:13:28 (CDT)
There is a very big lady (amazon big) in a bikini
standing in the ocean where the waves come crashing in. Very big swelling waves.
I am clung to this lady with my arms around her neck and I am, in comparison
to her, the size of a monkey. As the huge waves slowly swell up behind us and
crash over us, Iggy Pop narrates. He is talking about how succulent the lady
is and what different types of seasonings he would use to cook each part of
her body. I remember him saying that for the thighs he would have to use "unseasoned
salt". For another part of the body I remember him saying that he would use
"borsht" as a seasoning.
tony mogelson <firstname.lastname@example.org
MN USA - Monday, October 25, 1999 at 11:10:43 (CDT)
I was living in a small city in Israel. One day
Jefferson Airplane shows up to play a show, but they needed a location indoors
(because of the sand and all) to tape an interview to hype this very special
show. I offered my parents house, where I was living, and had to spend the rest
of the dream trying to explain to my parents that Jefferson Airplane aren't
"druggies" anymore. But I was worried Grace was going to dose 'em. Don't even
like Jefferson Airplane..I woke up because I thought a spider was crawling on
CT - Monday, October 18, 1999 at 09:56:22 (CDT)
I had a dream that Phil avoided me and didn't return
any e-mails after oRSo came and played in Phoenix. Mayhaps I weird him out.
mo - Tuesday, October 12, 1999 at 19:45:14 (CDT)
i laid down to take a nap this afternoon and almost
immediately i descended in to that stage where you're still awake enough to
be able to hear the joni mitchell on your stereo but asleep enough to be having
lucid dreams. i dreamt that people were climbing the stairs to my attic bedroom.
one at a time and each with something to say. my roommate jess came first. "you
have visitors maria. it's sam and chris" she said. "tell them i'm asleep" i
pleaded incoherently. "not a chance, sunshine" she heartlessly responded. "i'm
tired of lying for you. you're going to have to face the consequences of your
drunken antics for once." she left me lying there, unable to get up or otherwise
move. instead of sam and chris, my dad and his girlfriend materialized. "you've
got to change your evil ways, maria" gail said. "or else your dad's going to
stop loving you more than me." i finally gathered the strength to get up with
the intent of beating the shit out of her, but she was gone. my dad walked up
to me and enveloped me in a crushing hug. "i know you're going to get into law
school honey" he said. "and i'll help you out in any way i can". then he was
gone and sam was standing there asking me why i didn't love him anymore, and
chris was looking at my cd's and yelling at me for not having "paul's boutiqe"
and "london calling" and i started crying and i screamed that i did have them,
but i had loaned them to mark and he hadn't given them back yet. then sam said
"forget you maria. i'm going over to megan's place. she'll do the riverdance
for me". i started to chase after him, and i got to the top of my stairs and
grabbed his arm to pull him back and then i remembered that i didn't love him
anymore, and that i didn't really give a damn whether or not he went over to
megan's, and that was when my alarm went off and i struggled to the surface.
i was so incoherent that i had to check and make sure that my CD's were on the
shelf and not over at mark's. all that therapy for the price of a half hour
miss maria del zoppo <email@example.com
mi us of a - Monday, October 11, 1999 at 22:09:57 (CDT)
it is night and i am arriving in a city i do not
recognize. through the windows of the bus glowing neon reflects off the edge
of buildings that speed past. the even glint of light is like the undulating
reflection in the rotating blades of a metal fan. each angle passes the smooth
glow on to the next. i step off the bus disoriented but calm. an urge to explore
drives me into the darkness. i stop to look down an alley. mist passes my face
and lingers in the ice-cold air like white vapor from warm lips. i need to find
a safe place to sleep. at a phone booth near a stone wall i dial unconsciously.
"i am here", i say into the receiver. a soft voice offers to come get me. "no.
if you tell me how to get there i will come.", i reply. as she begins talking
i lose interest and walk away. i come to the edge of a park. stone paths and
ornamental plants give the overwhelming impression of geometric order. like
an overgrown japanese garden. down one of these paths men and women in long
white robes are eating at several tables. their faces are ethereal and angular.
smooth glowing skin and dark hair. unseen by them i walk through their midst,
over to a large map board. it is something that you might find in museums or
shopping malls, giving arial views of large multi-leveled floor plans. i realize
that this is a zoo. like the one in lincoln park, but with cafť tables near
the cages. i walk towards movement on the large flat ledge of a raised cement
pool. monkeys. with thick white hair that covers their bodies at an even length.
like the fluff on a child's toy. the only visible flesh is a mask-like area
around the eyes. slanted black soulless orbs nestled in soft folds of skin.
these creatures seem more machine than nervous tissue. they are moving like
penguins, swarming on the bank and leaping into the water. they are silent.
i observe them with detached fascination. a little girl leaps abruptly into
the pool. she is laughing and splashing. swimming after a monkey. i am terrified
that i will see blood in the water. a man jumps in to grab the child. she screams
and screams. i wake up
il - Sunday, October 10, 1999 at 00:33:07 (CDT)
I met Archer Prewitt, only he was a cartoon. He
was wearing a Sof' Boy shirt. I love that comic.
Minneapolis USA - Wednesday, September 22, 1999 at 15:46:27 (CDT)
real: my rex-'waltz' disc doesnt play due to deep
scratches. dream:phil was selling rex discs for $2 out of an alley.
- Saturday, September 18, 1999 at 20:18:50 (CDT)
real: my rex-'waltz' disc doesnt play due to deep
scratches. dream:phil was selling rex discs for $2 out of an alley.
- Saturday, September 18, 1999 at 20:17:34 (CDT)
I was sitting on a dock with two others. We looked
down into the water and saw two tigers staring up at us. They looked all bluish
and blurry from the water distorting them. It was obvious that they were preparing
to pounce on us, so I grabbed my friend's gun. One of the water-tigers lept
onto the dock and started biting us, so I shot him right in the tuchis. Then
we got away. phew!
- Wednesday, September 15, 1999 at 13:50:08 (CDT)
Along the shore. Gray whale beaches itself. Jettisons
up on the beach. We all try pushing it back in. Swim around in the shallows.
Churning anxiety waves. Later . . . having dinner with the whale across a banquet
table. At my right is Keith Richards. Both Keith and I believe whale sitting
across from us is God. We don't think he's a force or nothing progressively
termed. He's the old testament creator. He has a name tag that simply says "God."
Keith, however, is upset about his life. "What's I done lately," etc. I tell
Keith that everything would have been justified if he'd just done Exile on Main
St. He's relieved by that. We eat and talk. A victorious dream. Chatting with
a God-whale that purposely beached itself to have dinner with me and Keith.
NJ - Monday, September 13, 1999 at 15:47:48 (CDT)
Keith Richards and Mick Jagger were over for a
visit. They brought along their 8-Track tape collection, and were proudly showing
it off. It was mostly blues and r&b, "race records", and they vere very impressed
with themselves: "Look at this one...nice artwork on that...ooh, this one's
rare...". While they boasted, I heard a scratching from my bathroom. I walked
over to investigate and found Muddy Waters cleaning out the litter box, sifting
cat shit through a sieve, all the while muttering to himself: "Damn fools don't
know nuthin' 'bout the blues..."
Jeff Economy <firstname.lastname@example.org
IL USofA - Tuesday, September 07, 1999 at 13:06:11 (CDT)
i forget one thing..after the olive oil the fat
lady dumped 2 pitchers of red wine over the baby's head while he kept on gnawing
on the octopus..
- Tuesday, September 07, 1999 at 11:13:06 (CDT)
I have a recurring dream (about once a week) about
being in a massive storm which generates hundreds of powerful tornadoes. As
I cower in my basement, waiting for death, I start speaking to the tornadoes
as they roar by. "Why do you do this?" I ask. "We can't help being destructive,
it's what we were made to do," they reply. But since I can talk to them, they
agree to avoid my house and lay waste to all around me.
no. - Friday, September 03, 1999 at 16:35:03 (CDT)
in a wet green overgrown garden,it smells like
basil and moist vagina. i am tied to a wooden chair. legs and arms. an obese
red headed woman kneels in front of me and starts massaging my crotch. i cannot
get an erection and feel an overwhelming repulsion. she says something in a
language that i cannot understand (sounds like backwards latin).she gets up
and walks to a large metal tub containing a nude baby. on a table next to the
tub are 3 large metal pitchers. the first pitcher contains a purple/grey dead
octopus and dirty salt water. she pours it over the baby's head. the second
pitcher contains olive oil. she pours it over the baby's head. the baby starts
gnawing on one of the octopus tentacles. the third pitcher is filled with water
and skinned tomatos. she pours it over the baby's head as he continues to teethe
on the dead octopus.i find a thick knot in the rag binding ny hand and dig at
it until it loosens. the woman runs up to me screaming. my head feels like a
cement weight and i try to move it so i can wake up. she starts to undo my pants.
i use all my strength to jerk my head foreward and wake up.
vito positano <email@example.com
il usa - Monday, August 30, 1999 at 16:28:07 (CDT)
I was sitting in this field, looked up in the sky,
and saw the face of my friend John in the clouds. He nodded his head, it was
alot like at the end of "Love Me Tender", with Elvis singing. John just moved
to Chicago, so it all comes together you see.
MinMinnehappenin'olis, MN USA - Saturday, August 28, 1999 at 16:44:57 (CDT)
All my dreams take place in some weird post apocolyptic
world. There was a plane crash or something and Casey Rice was on board and
his super customized laptop was on board. The laptop was damaged in the plane
crash but Rice was not and I helped him find all the special pieces of circuitry
that had flown all over the rug. One of the pieces i found was a special diode
that lit up the inside of the laptop. It was a totally cool laptop and since
Casey was so grateful for me helping he actually said something nice for a change.
Jolly the Clown
IL US of goddamn A - Friday, August 20, 1999 at 12:32:41 (CDT)
Dreamt that I was watching a Roy Harper performance
at a "Hippie Festival" in Israel. One of the guys in the band was playing an
instrument made out of an industrial vacuum. Here is how it worked: The industrial
vacuum has a chamber of heated water. A plastic lid is supposed to fit on top
of it. In order to make sounds come out of the vacuum, the guy places the lid
on incorrectly. This causes the vacuum to make a constant and loud "air organ/slurp"
sound. He then controls the timbre and volume of the sound with a couple of
hand controls that feed into the vacuum via clear plastic tubes. I think that
he regulates the vacuum's pressure with the hand controls and changes the sound
by making different shapes with his hand on the controller (like how when you
are playing a jaw harp, you change the sound by changing the shape of your mouth.
tony mogelson <firstname.lastname@example.org
mn usa - Thursday, August 19, 1999 at 11:26:44 (CDT)
One day I was minding my own business working at
my uncleís office when I decided to go outside and see what there was to see.
When I got outside I started running into friends that I hadnít seen in a while.
First it was Brad Snyder, who was driving around in his car. Then I saw my good
buddy Jake Cole, who I hadnít seen in over six months. Jake was a lifeguard
at the beach and was on his way to the Shell station to get some Gatorade. He
said the people who run the concession stands at the beach usually give them
a bottle or two every couple of hours but they were already over an hour late.
Jake bought the Gatorade and we walked to the beach. When we got to the beach,
I noticed that the weather was very different from the weather at the office.
When I left the office, it was about 68 degrees and overcast. When we got to
the beach it was about 95 degrees and there was not a cloud in the sky. I was
painfully aware that the long pants and shirt I was wearing were not the best
things for the weather so I had to change into a bathing suit. That drove all
the girls crazy, I swear to god. There were all kinds of high quality freshman
beer sluts at the beach too (Technically they would now be sophomore beer sluts
but the original term is a little more catchy). I wanted to go get a 6 pack
and bring abut four of them home with me, but, Jake had other ideas and the
next thing I noticed we were back at the office. The first thing Jake did was
open the fridge and grab my lunch from Scumaciís. He was halfway done with it
before I realized what he was doing and took it back. We spent the next half-hour
flipping through the channels and we saw a commercial for a 6-hour fuck-a-thon
that was about to start on Pay-Per-View. Some girl was gonna do as many men
as she could in six hours and go for the record which was currently held by
some chick who did 356 guys in that time period. Jake told me of a big party
that was going on that night and thought I might like to go with him. I hadnít
been to a party in a while, so I accepted the invitation without giving it much
thought. Jake asked me if he could crash at my place that night and I said that
would be fine. I donít know why I said he could spend the night, when I didnít
even know were I was spending the night. Jake went to use the phone and that
was the last I saw of him. W hen I got to the party I was surprised at how cool
and weird the location was. The main platform was up about 20 feet off the ground
and it was a pretty big floor. There were only three walls and they were in
the back and on the two sides. The open space were there would have normally
been a wall, overlooked a giant, Olympic sized pool. That was the first floor.
The only solid ground on the first floor was a little five-foot ledge that went
around three sides of the pool, and two staircases that rose up to the main
platform. There was no ledge around the side of the pool that was closest to
the open edge of the main platform. So if you fell you didnít have to worry
about hitting the ground. There were hallways that ended up in the poolroom
and originated from an area with a bar (That served minors) and from a lounge
were you could light up all the ganja that you wanted. There were so many people
in the smoking lounge that even if you didnít have any smoke you would catch
one hell of a contact if you even stayed in there for a while. It was in the
lounge that I ran into Phil Spirito. After I left the bar, were I drank a few
Yachtsmen's, and the lounge I was feeling like socializing so I decided to go
up to the platform and find myself a delicious 30 to 40 year old. I donít exactly
know how I did it but I somehow managed to find myself a delicious 20 to 30
year old which is just as good. We were just kinda lying on this gigantic waterbed
that lined the entire free side of the room (Which opened up to the pool below)
when I realized that she had a boyfriend. He was on the other side of her and
he didnít know that I was even in the picture. Iím not the most sympathetic
person youíll meet, and my opinion was that itís not my problem if his girlfriend
doesnít want to be with him. If it wasnít me it would have been the next guy
so it might as well be me. All of a sudden people started talking in a hushed
whisper. The woman who was in the six hour fuck-a-thon had walked into the room
and was getting a lot of attention. She didnít break the world record but she
came very close. With a little more practice and dedication she could shatter
that world record in two months time. She was down with practicing with anyone
who wanted and she was having a little session in the master bedroom. She asked
me if I was interested and I respectfully declined. There is just so much skankiness
that a man can put up with. I went to go get another Yachtsman and when I came
back I realized that there was some construction being done on the stairs and
that it was being done by no other than Tim Hurley, Brian Deck and John Deck.
At the time Brian was yelling at Tim and John because they had somehow screwed
up a piece of the stairway and now he would have to do a very difficult and
dangerous maneuver to try to make up for it. Brian went running up the makeshift
stairs and slammed a board against another board and for a second it stuck.
The next second however saw Brian fall 20 feet and land with a thud on the concrete
ledge on the side of the pool. He got up right away though, angry but unhurt.
When I got back up to the waterbed I found my newfound friend waiting for me.
We laid next to each other for a while until it became apparent that the night
was winding down. She leaned over and we started making out. Her boyfriend realized
what was happening and he was none to pleased. He started to blow in my face
and make me stop. It didnít work very well and he left for a while. He came
back a little later and this time had a different approach to the situation.
He unzipped his fly and began to piss all over us. Mostly on me. I got up in
a hurry to kick the living shit out him but I was too late because he had taken
a step backward and had jumped to freedom in the water. Or so he thought. It
took me maybe a second and a half to decide that no one is going to piss on
me and get away with it. Besides, I was already drenched with piss so I might
as well try to wash some of it off. I jumped into the pool after this guy and
landed almost on top of him. When I finally got a hold of him I started to thrash
him to no end. By this time his friends had realized what had happened and they
had jumped in on his side. When Brian, Tim and John saw what was going on they
jumped into the pool to and helped me out. Even Phil put down his pipe said
ď Ma maĒ and jumped in the pool. Needless to say we won convincingly. The only
real problem was this kooky lady who walked around the pool with a bucket full
of chemicals and was trying to throw it in our eyes. I finally had to take the
chemicals away from her and make sure she wouldnít cause any more problems.
Someone had called the cops and they were on their way. When we got out of the
pool we dried off in like three minutes and were there when the cops arrived.
Some people identified me as the ringleader in the fight, and although Phil
tried to tell the cops it was the other guyÖÖ well you know how cops are. The
Police gave me a free ride home and when I got there Ben answered the door and
told the cops that he would punish me very, very severely and that he was grateful
to the cops for bringing his juvenile delinquent nephew home. I walked into
the house (Ben must have done some remodeling because it looked nothing like
I remembered), got myself a big bowl of chocolate chip ice cream and sat down
on the couch. Ben was complaining because he had lost his glasses. He told me
to tell him everything that happened but I just wanted to sleep. He kept saying:
wake up, get up, wake up. And thatís when I did.
Nick Del Zoppo <del_zoppo1@Hotmail.Com
MI United States of America - Wednesday, August 18, 1999 at 23:55:01 (CDT)
i dreamt i was eating a small bowl of sticky rice
and drinking a large glass of milk. the doorbell rang. i accidentally answered
the phone, even though it hadn't rung. "hello?" "are you gonna answer the goddamn
door, or let me stand out here all friggin' day?" i dropped the phone and ran
to answer the door, but noone was there.
ma usa - Monday, August 16, 1999 at 14:32:03 (CDT)
i dreamt of an instrument called the "bluesinator".
basically it's a shallow wooden box you hold against your chest. it amplifies
sounds coming from the chest. also, if you sing a bluesy sound into the wooden
box, it "bluesinates" it, which means that it gives it an old time sound and
creates a brief woodsy loop of the sound. this instrument also has little metal
"plinky-plinks" that can be plucked like a thumb harp. the 'bluesinator" is
the instrument of an old blues man. hold it against the heart, close your eyes,
start to sway, and let the blues start pouring out.
Tony Mogelson <email@example.com
mn usa - Thursday, August 12, 1999 at 14:23:28 (CDT)
I dreampt that my mother and I were working with
my cousin and aunt at this out door flea market. we were selling all sorts of
produce and car parts. my cousin was pregnant and as we wrapped up the days
work, my mother turned to my cousin and said "I'm gonna buy that baby a diamond
highchair". As we leave the open air market to return home there is an immense
flash of bright white light and my mother falls dead, her body dissapears. I
return to my home, which is in my dream an abondoned subway station strewn with
lockers, mattresses and people. As word spreads of my mother's death, people
gather at the locked enterance gates to mourn. I woke up.
OH USA - Saturday, August 07, 1999 at 13:00:26 (CDT)
I WAS DRIVING AROUND DIGGIN THE 'BLUE SUEDE SHOES'
ON THE RADIO AND WAITIN FOR 'JAILHOUSE ROCK'.
il 60622 - Friday, August 06, 1999 at 14:20:15 (CDT)
I was gambling in a nearby casino and hit it big
on the slot machines. My winnings included 30 grand and a 5-gallon bucket filled
with vicodin and pot!
- Thursday, July 29, 1999 at 10:16:22 (CDT)
Me sitting, wild eyed and feverous, in a fold out
chair center stage. Them, every woman that I had ever been with, surrounding
me in a ritualstic circle. Pointed feminist fingers and cries of bitterness
are being thrust upon me with rapid fire succession. Bewildered, confused and
angry I become. I had no idea that I was such an inept partner for these women.
"You are a self-centered, egotistical, manipulating, self-indulgent child!!"
I hear these phrases and much more worse. I am being accosted by the ghosts
of my lovers past. I begin to cry with shame, huddling in my seat. Cowering
with an intense fear for my life. I close my eyes to try and ease this intense
emotional torture and then I see them. Repetitive flashes of the faces of these
women. Acidic swirls amidst screams and yelps. I begin to quake, sweating profusely,
wanting to die. "Just go away!", I keep yelling. "Leave me alone, I am much
different now!". Then she appears, a solemn angel, my first true love. She whispers
to me, "It's okay, you did the best you could, we just never wanted it to end."
Drenched and parched, as this nightmare subsides, I ask for a glass of water.
I open my eyes, they are gone, the images have ceased. I roll over and gently
kiss my lover on her naked shoulder. Crawl out of bed, walk downstairs to the
kitchen, pour a glass of water, take a huge sip. Then suddenly I find myself
in the living room, slipping a disc into the player. Rex's "Tortured Animal"
begins to fill the air.....
Michael Willis <firstname.lastname@example.org
NC USA - Monday, July 26, 1999 at 17:10:57 (CDT)
after i saw dianogah, i went to sleep on the couch.
i had a dream that i was climbing around this tower full of mud and the shadowy
men on a shadowy planet were playing live, and it was being broadcast over this
p.a. i kept trying to find those fuckers.
i woke up and kids in the hall was on.
oh, static <email@example.com>
- Monday, July 26, 1999 at 02:32:38 (CDT)
it was about a girl.large breasted. big footed.
gap toothed. dirty hands. idle eyed. droopy tongued. knee knocked. she looked
like she drank one too many kitty dukakis's. mop and glow on the rocks. she
got in one of those mud baths and was eating all the mud. she called out my
name to come closer. "i dun wanna" i said. "you're already here" she said and
began clawing at her hairy muddy crotch.
il - Thursday, July 22, 1999 at 15:45:24 (CDT)
Me and my friends John and Tom were on some big
ocean liner, as part of some group, I think it was a religious type of group,
but I'm not sure. We were drinking whiskey, and were informed that the ship
was about to sink. I was running around looking for this girl, but I couldn't
find her. Then I learned that the ship wasn't about to sink, we were just on
the wrong one, and were headed for San Diego. I dreamed all this after I saw
the Flaming Lips play.
MN USA - Thursday, July 22, 1999 at 15:37:40 (CDT)
I dreamed that I went into a hotel room and pressed
my hands aginst the bedspread. and the bedspread moved in a strange way, sort
of an undulated way. I thought: is this a waterbed? then I looked to the floor
and dark pools of blood were forming. the sheets were filled with blood. and
I realized a murder had taken place. It was quite awful -- I can't quite describe
the feeling of sickness and dread as the blood came out of the mattress. another
thing: the blood was somehow dirty -- it wasn't bright red, but a murky brownish
sort of color. It was aged. There was also a pornograhic magazine on the dresser
in this room which I noticed on entering the room.
il usa - Thursday, July 22, 1999 at 13:08:28 (CDT)
i dreamed i was in math class and we were having
a math test and everyone was doing math...for this test...in math class.
il u.s.a. - Wednesday, July 21, 1999 at 13:20:38 (CDT)
i was rollerskating on wet grass in an endless
park with trees and bushes and people and dogs.when i started i felt the mud
squishing in the wheels and trudged along harder and faster until the pain in
my thighs turned to pure strength and perfect graceful speed. the faster i went
the smoother everything got. smoother and cleaner.the cold water turned to air
and the mud turned to marble.i felt like god.
at all - Tuesday, July 20, 1999 at 23:48:04 (CDT)
i was in a dwarf pub sitting at the bar and there
were all these little people eating big sandwiches. italian beefs, meatball
subs ...these huge sloppy sandwiches. they were licking the juices and sauces
off their little stubby fingers, slurping and laughing. one of the women starting
flirting with me and then one of them started getting pissed off. the next thing
i know i'm underneath a pile of these little writhing bodies being pummelled
by these little fists and bitten by these little mouths. the bartender, who's
my size, was screaming "enough! enough! he's had enough!" and he starts picking
them up and throwing them against the wall and into stools, but they just kept
running back and jumping onto the pile. i must have been screaming or something
because my cat woke me up with a paw to the jaw.
tim loftus <firstname.lastname@example.org
ill U!S!A! - Tuesday, July 20, 1999 at 16:44:49 (CDT)
uh....... the other night i had a dream that i
was sitting in my sitting room and my cat walked by. there was an earthworm
wiggling out of his butt. he was going around in circles trying to see what
was up. then he laid down and gave birth to a full grown, bloody chicken. feet
first. oh dear.............
bad which? - Wednesday, July 07, 1999 at 00:13:11 (CDT)
tim loftus <email@example.com
il usa - Monday, June 28, 1999 at 16:50:17 (CDT)
June, 1973; Through underhanded interrogation
of the ape scientists and analysis of their spacecraft, Doctor Victor Hasslein
uncovers the ultimate fate of the human race and the planet. He convinces the
President of the United States that the ape scientists pose a threat to mankind.
The ape scientists are taken to a military base for further interrogation. Abd
al-Jabbar ibn Muhammad al-Hamdani on behalf of the ape scientists, stands up
to Dr. Victor Hasslein.He issues this statement via his crankshaft telegraph:
"One of the Jews undertook the conversion of the Khazars, who are composed of
many peoples, and they were converted by him and joined his religion. This happened
recently in the days of the Abbasids.... For this was a man who came single-handedly
to a king of great rank and to a very spirited people, and they were converted
by him without any recourse to violence and the sword. And they took upon themselves
the difficult obligations enjoined by the law of the Torah, such as circumcision,
the ritual ablutions, washing after a discharge of the semen, the prohibition
of work on the Sabbath and during the feasts, the prohibition of eating the
flesh of forbidden animals according to this religion, and so on." Well aware
of the peril they're in, the ape scientists, Zira and Cornelius attempt an escape
from the facility. During the escape Cornelius accidentally kills a guard. With
the help of Dr. Stephanie Branton and Dr. Lewis Dixon they flee to a circus
where Zira gives birth to the baby ape. Leaving the baby, named Milo, in the
care of Armando the circus owner, while taking a circus chimp's child in a bizzare
trade they set off to evade their pursuers.
IL North America - Thursday, June 24, 1999 at 11:20:34 (CDT)
: i'm with a group of people and we walk into
a building out of a snowstorm. the place is a cross between wall drug and the
ground round. all wood and candlelight, i am wearing horse blinders on my head
and can only see in front. we walk through halls of stupid bumperstickers and
old family pictures into crabby coffee shops and rooms of paneling and urinals.
we come to the main dining room and as i move foreward a bigbreasted bleach
blonde old fat lady dressed like she's going to the acadamy awards with her
huge tits half out is walking straight at me grinning and batting her eyes.
i feel myself blush and i want to turn my head away. she's like the north ave
whores that stare down cars off the bridge. i cant turn away and can only go
foreward. i try to smile back. as she passes me she does this magician's flourish
with one of her hands. i notice the fat fingers and rings and huge red nails.
she does this thing right in front of my eyes and i get a little mesmerized
but i keep walking and she keeps walking. we get about 3 or 4 steps past each
other and the blinders are off me and i put my hand across my ass and feel that
my wallet is gone. i look behind me and the lady is smiling and now she has
gold teeth and she's holding my wallet in the air. showing it to me. i turn
back and the people i was with are gone.."you gotta show me how you did that,
you didn't even touch me, i need a job i need to learn how to do something...how
did you do that?..." i'm blathering, i thought that if i learned how to pick
pockets without touching people i could go to the airport and make tons of money....so
she says"you vant to?" and i say"sure" so she starts this fast walk throught
the halls and it gets darker as we go deeper. there's these huge human sized
puppets hanging from the ceiling dressed like circus people and gypsys. they
got these creepy green glass eyes staring right at you and they're all made
of unsanded wood with pointy slivery fingers. they look like they dont like
what they're wearing, they look like people being punished. they're hanging
in uncomfortable possitions like with the leg over the head and the butt up
at the highest point. there are hundreds of them lining the ceiling . sparkly
fireman clown, corseted gypsy girl, teenage boy ringmaster, a liontamer with
a tangled black wig, they're all there. finally the hall opens up into this
huge room and the woman faces me and starts talking complete nonsense. and i'm
trying to ask questions. but she keeps changing the subject and talking about
vienna and all her beautiful sick babies with the croup and just bullshit..i
start to look around this big room and i see about 5 different groups of mexican
women in traditional gaudy mexican tops but naked from the waist down. with
big spangly sombreros and beautiful black hair with red carnations. they're
lined up in formation doing thai chi like movements extra slow and in synch.
it was like fake thai-chi. i watched their legs and compared their crotches
as the pickpocket lady droned on and on and i noticed that they were slowly
twisting their bodies into the same impossible positions as the scary puppets.
it just went on and on. i said to the lady somethin like "you're not teaching
me a thing." and she changed the subject again ....then i woke up and tried
so hard to get back to sleep but i couldnt neither
where is foy?
usa - Thursday, June 17, 1999 at 16:05:18 (CDT)
I was in some B-movie, we were in some big house
in the country, and this guy there was a killer. I think he would dress up funny
and kill people with children's toys or something. There was an indoor fishing
pond, and I was fishing. There was also this pastor there and his son, who I
think was retarded, or was like the kid from "Mask" or something. The kid accidently
dropped his fishing pole in the water, but it floated, so he got it back. The
Pastor told the son to go to bed right now, and the kid did it without complaining
at all. I thought to myself "the clergy shouldn't be allowed to have children,
the catholics know what they're doing". I think some people ended up getting
killed, but I got away. I think the killer bragged that he cut the telephone
wires, stranding us all, but then I tried the telephone and it worked, so I
called the Police. Then I ran outside and watched from this hill, and the police
came and caught the guy in about 5 minutes, which cued me in that I was dreaming.
911 is a joke, yo.
Minneapolis, MN USA - Wednesday, June 16, 1999 at 14:15:37 (CDT)
I was in the desert/Badlands area with some random
people. We were stuck in this cement-walled shack. A sketchy guy in black came
in with a gimpish assistant and they started releasing propane gas in the room.
Then they counted down and blew us all to bits. Our ghosts all survived the
blast. We were all spinning and chatting until our bodies regenerated and we
were alive again. Phil felt bad so he bought me a bottle of booze that I didn't
really want. Then I woke up wanting peanut butter cookies.
gillian lisee <firstname.lastname@example.org
il usa - Wednesday, June 16, 1999 at 12:31:06 (CDT)
- Tuesday, June 08, 1999 at 12:59:55 (CDT)
- Saturday, June 05, 1999 at 00:27:35 (CDT)
I was with this cowboy guy, in the past, presumably
the old west. We were riding horses, and came to this farm, which was owned
by some people who went to my parent's church (in real life), they lent us a
wagon and some horses to go into town for some wedding. The head of the household
didn't approve of me being with the cowboy though. He asked "Why are you following
him?", and I said "I'm not sure why, but I know I have to. It's fate". We rode
into the city, which had become modern day Minneapolis. We ended up stopping
somewhere and the horses got loose and ran away. The cowboy ran after one, and
I ran after the other, and caught it. While I was waiting at the wagon, my Dad
came by, and he had this cup of ginger ale, I believe it was a Taco Bell cup.
He showed me a cat inside, it was a full sized cat, and a regular sized cup.
It looked normal though. I took the cup, but I couldn't let the cat out, because
it was soaked with ginger ale. So I made sure it had enough air, and tried to
make sure it was happy.
MN USA - Friday, June 04, 1999 at 11:19:24 (CDT)
Two nights ago I dreamed I was on tour with Gillian
and Duke and some unrelated character maybe Myles but maybe not. We had a smallish
gun and Gillian and I started shooting ourselves in places that would not cause
to much damage. I shot myself right above the knee and in the thigh and in the
the side of my gut. Gil did her gut and thigh also. I think Duke shot himself
also but it wasn't that important to the dream. We were shooting ourselves as
a form of getting high. As if this was the new drug that everyone was getting
off on. We were in my parents house but it didn't look like thier house. I was
very concerned that Gil was getting blood all over the place. I noticed that
I was also bleeding all over the place. I was also limping and favoring my wounded
leg. At this turning point in the dream I relized that we had to leave in half
hour and we had to load up the van. Ofcourse we had twice as much gear. I went
outside and it was winter and the perigable(van) was across the lot with a huge
trailer attached to it. The lot was all mud and it was an extremly gray and
depressing super wintry day. The lot was just mud and slush and dirty snow.
I was wearing shorts for some reason and the first thing I did was slip and
fall in the mud and slush. My wounds were all dirty and caked with mud. I got
in the van and realized, not only did I have a trailer but I had to back it
up this skinny ramp. After many failed trys I woke up.
phil spirito <email@example.com
il 60622 - Friday, June 04, 1999 at 09:54:43 (CDT)
There was this crazy guy on the loose - don't ask
me how I determined this - and it was my job, as well as an attractive female's
job to catch. This was in a high building and there were change/shower rooms
like high school sporadically about. I found the killer guy in one and I cut
his head off with a sword. Periodically I felt bad for this and periodically
his head reappered or disappeared as he followed me around. When he had a head
it was scarred. Then I was in the locker room discussing it with people. The
tiles were yellowy (smoke stained I think) and it was a bit misty but no showers
were running. And then I woke up.
ont canada - Thursday, June 03, 1999 at 14:49:02 (CDT)
i was flying a fighter airplane, it was a jet.
it had a lot of equipment in it. i was flying in a deep canyon and somehow i
ended up not in an airplane but in the shrubbery surrounding a swimming pool.
it was dark out and the scene was lit only by the neon lights of the motel.
i ended up in the water and discovered actress/comedienne sandra bernhard in
the water as well, who was blowing me. she managed to do this while being submerged.
i was pondering this when i woke up..
uk - Thursday, June 03, 1999 at 12:28:13 (CDT)
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